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Lost - Lost.

Prologue.

I feel the blood rolling down my arm, dripping on the floor and the mere sound causes me enormous dizziness, the door opens, is Mavis, horrified cries and the last thing I see is her running towards me, after that, everything turned black.

- So ... Is the same dream of the other week? -I nodded, still staring at my hands clasped, was sweating with the only fact to remember that nightmare. I sighed and turned my gaze to the shelf where the books were. There was one that captivated my attention ever since the day I arrived at his office.

- So? Do I have to go to a psychiatrist? -I asked sarcastically, taking me hands to the head, he laughed and shook, it was always the same. He took from his bag a paper and handed it to me, the same role as always. No need to read it, I knew it by heart.

- Come and see ...

- Next week, I know, I know -He smiled and took my hand, placing a kiss on each, was used to do that, according to him, I'm like the daughter he never had.

- See Tory.

- Bye, Chris.

I left his office, -but not before paying the quote- and headed straight to the Montaditos, I was starving and it was the closest place. I took the phone from my purse and dialed my best friend, telling her that I will reach the apartment a little late today.

- No, I won't buy you nothing -and hung up. I obviously was going to buy her food, but it's my best friend, I had to bother her in some way or another. I kept walking, till I remembered that today premiered one of the movies I had wanted to see since last year. Shit, shit, I have to go, I have to go.

I didn't think about it, just ran and took the first taxi that crossed my path, I didn't care express kidnapping at the time, just wanted to go to the movies, watch the movie, eat, mourn, go home, hug Mavis and sleep, that was my plan, was what I wanted and was going to do. I arrived and I did not notice anything, I ran towards the mall, I heard a few "What the hell it's wrong with you? Having trouble or something? "Asshole!" But I didn't give a fuck about them, I just wanted to see my film.

- No bitches, took a year waiting for this moment -I said when I saw tremendous tail, and probably already had all tickets sold out, snorted and walked where was the girl who sold the tickets, as I suspected, were over. Damn luck! Damn brain that makes me remember things at the last minute! Shit, why am I always lost?
Prologue is finally out. It's short, because is the prologue.
Hope you like it :la:
I have to go to sleep now, it is 1:15 am here :iconmingplz:
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:iconmadhat11d6:
MadHat11D6 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013   Writer
Hello, from #PowerfulWriting. You have a very interesting writing style. Some things are working and some things aren't.

The thing you are doing with the dialogue is not working. Especially considering you use the proper dialogue marking toward the end of the chapter. I like the whole 'holy crap movie thing today' even though it's completely out of the blue. I would recommend having your character take out her phone to check the time and seeing the date causing her to remember it's the day of the movie. On the topic of plot devices, for such a short prologue you could give way more description and still have it be quite short. You also introduce too many character in such a sort space. I'm sitting here kind of wondering who is who and what the point is of each character in a way that doesn't really make me want to keep reading. For the actual story, however, you have a really good thing going here. I like that she starts in the office, starts to head home but then realizes she needs to see a movie (What movie? make one up that's relevant to the story or to understanding the character) and then something happens to her.

Overall, I'd say (story wise) you have a pretty good start. As far as the actually substance, this could really use a lot more detail. A prologue is meant to set the stage for the entire story. You aren't quite there. Keep writing!
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:iconcriaturitamarvada:
CriaturitaMarvada Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013
Thanks your for your review (: It seriously means a lot.
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:iconmadhat11d6:
MadHat11D6 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013   Writer
You are very welcome. =)
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:iconnadyia-drymer:
Nadyia-Drymer Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconpapmingplz: Ay me encanta!
La frase "come and see..." me resulta familiar... XD

Jaja, niña no deberías irte a dormir tan tarde... (si :icontebuki: leyera esto me diría algo como "¿no te mordiste la lengua?" :iconmingplz: )
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:iconcriaturitamarvada:
CriaturitaMarvada Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013
:iconcryforeverplz: Como me alegra que te encante, porque a mi me encanta que te encante(?
xD En serio?
Es que... Es que... Es que el tiempo... hacía buen tiempo y eso(? (Uyyy, que Nadyia nos salió rebelde(?
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:iconnadyia-drymer:
Nadyia-Drymer Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Y me encanta que te encante que me encanta (?) :iconiseeplz:
Sí, como que lo vi en una pelicula de terror (que me dio mucho miedo y por eso lo recuerdo (?) XD)
Jajaja el tiempo XD Sí, bien malota XDDDDD
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:iconcriaturitamarvada:
CriaturitaMarvada Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013
TRABALENGUAS PLS(?
lel por eso yo no veo películas de terror, a menos que este con alguien, porque si no, ushala(?
Si, el tiempo :iconmingplz: LOL XD
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:iconnadyia-drymer:
Nadyia-Drymer Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Jajajaja sí XDDD
Yo las veo acompañada y de día :iconmingplz:
Jajajaja ahora cada vez que dicen "hablar del tiempo" me acuerdo de ti (???) XDDD
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:iconcriaturitamarvada:
CriaturitaMarvada Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013
Yo igual, y cuando las veo solas, con todas las luces de la casa prendidas :iconpapmingplz:(?
asdfghjkl I feel famous (? XD
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:iconnadyia-drymer:
Nadyia-Drymer Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Asdfgh dame un abrazo hermana XD
:iconletmehugyouplz:
Asdfghsgdafdga eso significa que soy amiga de una celebridad :iconpapcryplz: ay X'DDDD
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:iconcriaturitamarvada:
CriaturitaMarvada Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013
:iconoldschoolownedplz:(?
soy una estrella :iconfliphairplz:(???
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(1 Reply)
:iconpokemaster62194:
PokeMaster62194 Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh my gosh! This is amazing! You should write some more!~ <33
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:iconcriaturitamarvada:
CriaturitaMarvada Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013
Shhh <33 Thanks you bro<3
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:iconpokemaster62194:
PokeMaster62194 Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
My pleasure!~ <33
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:iconhoneyegg:
honeyegg Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
*throws phone* GIMME MOAR
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:iconcriaturitamarvada:
CriaturitaMarvada Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013
I don't know if I should(?
Reply
:iconhoneyegg:
honeyegg Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yesss you should!
Reply
:iconcriaturitamarvada:
CriaturitaMarvada Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013
Well, jut because it's you~
Reply
:iconhoneyegg:
honeyegg Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yayayaya :iconepiclaplz:
Reply
:iconhoneyegg:
honeyegg Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:iconcrazlaplz:
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